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Dorothy uses the Tin Man's funnel as a cone for Toto.
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A tree falls and no one hears it.
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Jack's doctor asks him if his parents have considered getting indoor plumbing.
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The Pillsbury Dough Boy's X-ray shows he has internal trauma from being poked so many times.
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Humpty Dumpty dies because he tries to do his own stunts.
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Rhinos hurt their faces rubbing their noses together.
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A man gets a ruptured spleen phone and a Sports' Most Violent Injuries tape with his subscription to Sports Illustrated.
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A man is windblown and beat up because the wind is always at his back and the road rises up to meet him.
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Jack pads his resume.
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A crowd of injured angels limps through heaven on crutches after dancing on the pointy side of a pin.
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Running of the Bulls is changed to Running of the Sloths after personal injury lawyers get involved.
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A chiropractor hires delivery men with bad posture to bring him a fridge.
