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Fish likes washer but dryer doesn't dry clothes underwater.
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Husband complains outside panel so wife can't read it.
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Monster feels ripped off when he finds Potato Chip building only half full.
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Ivan looks through packing material not realizing it is the packing material he ordered.
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Star explains some smaller stars are her kids and others are her headache.
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Cellphone groom wonders whether guests are bored or have bad cell phone reception.
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Mrs. Big Bad Wolf won't eat pig because it has spit from blowing on it.
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Dish confides to mom that she shouldn't have run away with the lazy spoon.
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Cat drags in dead bird with computer mouse cursor.
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Man's mom Twitters about how long it's been since he called her.
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Restaurant patron complains to chef that fish he ordered contains the mythological Mercury.
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Mrs. Doughboy complains about Mr. Doughboy's weight because his torso is covered in rolls.
