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  • Without legal will, turkeys must use James' wishbone to determine the turkey's inheritance.
  • Kid admires the broccoli and zucchini eating woodchuck from the garden in his classroom report.
  • Internet website provides genealogy services to find relatives and block relatives from finding you.
  • Patients diagnose themselves in the self-service section of doctor's office.
  • Cell phone has options for custom vibrations from purring cat to Joe Cocker.
  • Interviewed by talk show fly, a moth drawn to the light is asked if it is drawn to the spotlight.
  • Mercury thermometer tells young digital thermometers a story of how hard life used to be.
  • Art connoisseur asks the museum's security guard where to find the high def paintings.
  • A lawyer in a courtroom objects to having the family dog pose as a character witness for a trial.
  • New motion-sensitive political voting machines have instructions to lean left or right to cast votes.
  • The amusement park rides are closed, but the man's zipper, fly, and barn door are open.
  • Factory mix up produces "I can't believe it's not hair" and "Gee your butter smells terrific."


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