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Construction worker opens wrong lunch and finds sexy note from co-worker's wife.
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Cat adapts to technology by sleeping on keyboard instead of newspaper.
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Man worries when he sees bumper sticker asking drivers to report on van driver's narcolepsy.
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Distracted lemming does not follow crowd over the cliff.
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Amorous dog reads advice for how to remove splinters obtained from pirate's wooden leg.
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Repair man does some shelf improvement next to self improvement.
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Student summerizes instead of summarizes book for school assignment.
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Student demands immunity for reading summer vacation report aloud.
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Man thinks passenger with book envies ereader, but she keeps reading during flight.
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Boy mistakenly buys "Diary of a Wimpy" instead of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid."
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Duck's Twitter followers were her ducklings, but others joined in.
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Salmon add phrase "when upstream" to fortune cookies instead of "in bed."
