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  • A lumberjack gives trees a stressful test to pressure-treat them.
  • A man's snores sound like a tree being cut down, scaring the tree outside his bedroom.
  • A man goes to therapy hoping to get rid of the nervous tick attached to his face.
  • A man cuts the light cord instead of the umbilical cord.
  • A sandwich hates picnics because they make him antsy.
  • A squid bride tells her husband-to-be that it's too late to be getting cold tentacles.
  • A turtle imagines giving a talk to shell-less turtles.
  • Two mice exchange Christmas gifts, which are both mousetraps for pest removal, and the husband encourages his wife to open her gift first.
  • Patient wants doctor's assurance before his physical that doctor's medical journals are more up-to-date than waiting room magazines.
  • Therapist tries to calm patient by telling her that even though she doesn't trust people, she's trusting him not to stab her with ballpoint pen.
  • Man walking by the Domino Apartments, which are lined up next to each other like dominos, feels very uneasy, doesn't want the apartments to fall.
  • Colleagues doubt scientist's claim of discovering 2-headed squid since it's 2 squids and a belt.



You searched for: nervous