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A woman can't decide if she wants to buy candy she likes or candy she doesn't like for Halloween.
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A nerd in a library is a girl's brain throb.
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A cat pretends to like the gift her boyfriend got her.
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Man prefers eggnog made at micro-noggery and refuses mass market eggnog.
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Dagwood Bumstead doesn't even understand Donald Trump's unusual hair style.
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Instead of granite, hell has countertops of brimstone.
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Dog's wagging tail gives it away that he's interested in approaching poodle.
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Woman overreacts as her date doesn't click like on her status updates anymore.
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Wife gives husband present, hopes he likes it because she had help picking it out, gift is a dead mouse, cat is at wife's feet.