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  • A crab breaks its phone in half because it's texting angry.
  • A balloon pops and the funeral director recommends a closed casket.
  • A cat scratches his friend's iPad because he was shopping for couches.
  • A mouse hacks through a maze like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.
  • A family wanted to get a dog, but the cats filibustered the decision.
  • All the king's horses and all the king's men make abstract art out of Humpty Dumpty's remains.
  • Wind turbines break because they're too close together.
  • A crash test dummy watches a TV show called Braking Bad.
  • The shark from Jaws used to be in small independent films.
  • Zombies use a human's head as a pinata.

  • Kids start bringing full meals to class once the teacher starts allowing chewing gum.
  • Doctors switch between game and patient's vitals on monitor.


You searched for: break