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Spider tells psychiatrist how female spider lit a cigarette, looked him in the eye, and said they didn't call him "itsy bitsy spider" for nothing.
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Famous last words from Charles Darwin, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Albert Bugleweed, whose last words were "Honey, how's your diet going'".
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One fowl says since Gregory was cremated, he feels like he is with him - and there is a can of cream of chicken on the mantel.
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Frog is upset because she has a date, and there are no warts on her face.
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Stick of gum talking on phone tells friend she hasn't seen Ray all night, and he's probably stuck under some bar stool.
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Egg in the bathroom drying his hands reads note on wall saying to call Ellen because she's over easy.
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After lumberjack cuts down tree, another tree says he knew she was lying about her age because he can see the circles on her trunk.
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Woman explains her half cat-half reptile pet because her lease only allowed one pet, so she and Jim compromised by having their pets combined.
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A clearly aged Charlie Brown sits on bench and wonders how he can get little gray-haired girl to notice him.
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One sauce pan tells another pot after hitting the teakettle that it will be the last time he whistles at her.
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Spoon tells fork that first impressions are crucial with her parents, asks fork to do something with his hair, which are fork tines.
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Car salesman at bar is upset, tells friend the girl never loved him, she just wanted good deal on Mercedes, implying that he was used.
