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A celebrity gossip magazine writes about Christmas themes.
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Santa says Pinocchio looks knotty.
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A cat says "Not a creature was stirring" and burps because it ate a mouse.
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Extreme sports one plays on Hanukkah.
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The three wise men bring incense to cover up the smell of baby Jesus' diapers.
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Pine trees wear ridiculous fashions for the Christmas season.
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Christmas figures stalk a woman to get her to buy things.
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Rudolph's red nose makes Cupid think he's in the red light district.
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Santa tabulates his Christmas gift list with machines from the election in Florida.
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A turkey musician accidentally throws his own drumsticks into the audience.
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A snake gives thanks for the big fat goose egg his family has.
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A turkey likes a hat, but wants to buy it in a different color because she's uncomfortable dressed in cranberry.
