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  • A man asks for the most popular table in a restaurant, and people climb on it while he's trying to eat.
  • An oyster gets her kids to irritate her husband so he'll make pearls.
  • A woman says she doesn't want a one-night stand, so a man thinks they'll have a two-night stand.
  • Ants only visit their mom on sundaes.
  • Construction concrete blocks socialize, with one introducing himself as "very supportive," another looking for a "concrete relationship," and another eyeing the "hard body" of a cinder block.
  • Two mice exchange Christmas gifts, which are both mousetraps for pest removal, and the husband encourages his wife to open her gift first.
  • Zoo worker tells woman her husband was eaten by alligators, and she reacts with shock, but pleased because she will look good dressed in black.
  • Prison inmate tells visitor to bake him a cake with a file in it, not for escaping, but for filing his ragged nails.
  • Two dinosaurs sit down for a meal of couch potatoes on their plates, which happen to be actual people laying on couches.
  • Otis the octopus gets ready for a date by applying deodorant to his many underarms from an economy-sized deodorant applicator.
  • A revolver sits in chair watching TV while thinking how he doesn't need a date because it's good to watch TV alone every weekend.
  • Werewolf examines a bottle of moon block, realizing that it must be applied evenly since he has experienced a partial transformation under the full moon.


You searched for: relationships