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  • Godzilla destroys library looking for a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People."
  • Husband orange tells judge he wants divorce because he wanted kids and wife never told him she was seedless.
  • Man tells woman he is ready to go skiing, even though he hasn't since he was five, and his skis are child-sized.
  • French teacher tells student, who visited France, four years in class must have helped, she agrees because she could say, "I don't understand French," in French.
  • Cat watches TV commercial saying 9 out of 10 cats prefer Ace Kitty Litter to using neighbor's yard, cat wonders about truth-in-advertising.
  • Swim instructor at Wicked Witch Swimming Lessons thinks lesson isn't going good because witches in pool are melting.
  • Child E asks Dad E if he'll grow up capitalized like dad, dad says yes, but he has to stay away from drugs, guns, and white-out.
  • Two snowmen watching a snow maker blow snow on skiing trail, one snowman says he is against genetic engineering.
  • One fish tells another it was a real swift move to buy a dehumidifier because their fishbowl is almost empty.
  • Restaurant for birds in a tree called Homestyle Restaurant, sign boasts that food is just like mothers used to regurgitate.
  • Man asks giraffe with severely crooked neck if he can go in first to visit the chiropractor.


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