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Wife wakes to piles of collected things filling bedroom and tells husband he’s been sleepwalking again.
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Angry wedding guests don’t appreciate drunk karaoke singer singing Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Big Butts Baby Got Back song.
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Envious veggie wonders how sweet bell pepper dates much hotter chile.
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Husband shows wife her beautiful face in clouds out window but windy weather changes it to insulting pig & she dumps coffee on his head.
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Annoyed pear wife with toy train obsessed spouse advises apple to find out passion fruit’s passions before marrying them.
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Chilly man mistook vibrating phone in pants pocket for shivering bum & missed wife’s text messages all day.
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Man tucked into bed with mosquito friends tells shocked wife that mosquitoes love him.
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Owl wearing formal dress asks husband in suit if bum looks big but turns neck behind to see herself.
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Lonely smartphone in relationship remembers partner affectionately pinched screen when younger.
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Unexploded firework in couple was called dud when young but partner says they’re gone & we’re still here.
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Annoyed mom of toddler in stroller swearing at older lady says son has her eyes but father’s mouth.
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Neatly folded flat sheet at party wishes disheveled sheet lump date was more presentable.
