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Loving dog drool kisses moisturize guy’s face every night.
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Owner asks why messy cat misses litter box but pee & poop routine comforts kitty.
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Weightlifting fish left behind by evolved fish with feet on land regrets skipping leg day exercises.
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Dog kid impatient no table scraps fed but mom dog begs & says trust the process.
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Man with head stuck in sunglasses, PPE virus facemask straps & ear buds wires tells wife he took off in wrong order.
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Muscled turkeys need to submit to random drug testing.
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A man says his cat is part alarm clock.
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A patient getting a tummy tuck asks his surgeon to read him a bedtime story once he's tucked in.
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Easter Bunny's massage, just like eating a chocolate bunny, starts with the ears.
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Employees in cubicles resemble crate-trained dogs.
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Wife changes facebook status to "single"' right before husband goes into surgery.
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A woman asks a man buying reusable tote bags if he wants them bagged in paper or plastic.
