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  • Customer says that slow moving sloth barista’s coffee shop brews very slowly roasted beans.
  • Artistic kid thinks canvas covered in baby food splatter needs more butternut squash orange.
  • Grandfather on laptop chokes on drink and makes funny noises entertaining grandkid online.
  • Canine record producer tells dogs their music needs more door bell.
  • Bad kitty eats pet fish & tells owner to refill empty fishtank.
  • Sneaky cat gaslights owners lying that keys jumped off table, couch came ruined, shed fur not his & hasn’t been fed.
  • Dog on smartphone sends owner urgent many poop emoji text, he says bring extra bags for walk.
  • Cannabis dispensary closes to restock inventory after customers Willie Nelson & Snoop Dogg purchase entire store.
  • Vampires company manager says worker with three fangs is their most productive employee.
  • Dog walking on leash tells another that owner bought two poop bags so it’ll need three stops.
  • Dogs meeting in park both mistake owner saying Stop it You’ve Already Eaten for names.
  • Three head male praying mantis at bar flirting with female insect evolved to mate more than once.


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