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A butter lawyer asks a defendant to identify a butter knife.
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Socrates' hemlock is organic.
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Darth Vader's hand hurts when he uses the Force to strangle someone.
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A man buys spray sunburn instead of spray tan.
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By beating test subject, researchers hope to treat incurable optimism.
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Spa employee sticks whole cucumbers in client's eyes instead of slices.
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Dog owner accidentally practices voo doo on daschund when he eats hot dog.
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Porcupine gets passive-aggressive gift of coupon good for a hug.
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At museum, kittens learn that there is a motif of cats inflicting pain on dogs in feline art.