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  • Patient wants doctor's assurance before his physical that doctor's medical journals are more up-to-date than waiting room magazines.
  • Doctor listens to pregnant woman's belly, she asks him how many heartbeats he hears because baby is in womb playing bongos.
  • Child E asks Dad E if he'll grow up capitalized like dad, dad says yes, but he has to stay away from drugs, guns, and white-out.
  • Man with injured right knee approaches two doors, door on left is left knee specialist, door on right is right knee specialist, nurse points him right.
  • Doctor tells injured pillow lying on bed with Band-Aids and IV to cool it with the pillow fights for a while.
  • Pillsbury Doughboy negotiating contract, wants clause added about actors with long, pointy fingernails, has bandages on belly from being poked.
  • A basketball player's foot vanishes because he uses cream to make athlete's foot disappear.
  • Doctor prescribes painful suggestions for patient on April Fools Day.