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Basketballs in a bar have to watch out for the NBA player bouncer.
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A man at a jewelry store can either stretch out a man's ring, or he can peel his finger like a carrot.
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Godzilla eats too much fiber and has to retreat to the woods to poop.
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A man waxes his car with turtle wax, while a turtle waxes his shell with car wax.
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Houses test if they're pregnant.
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A fish encourages another fish to get on a hook because body piercing is chic.
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A turkey disguises itself as a cat to avoid being killed for Thanksgiving.
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A marionette cuts her boyfriend's strings because he insisted on becoming unattached.
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A dad dropping his daughter off at daycare tells her to get the pooping and spitting-up out of her system while she's there.
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A cat doesn't mind a burglar stealing his stuff, but he does mind him using the litter box.
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A computer needs to expand his memory to be compatible with his wife.
