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A man wears a nicotine patch while his cat wears a catnip patch.
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A dog leaves her husband and tells her she faked every time she wagged her tail.
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A worm likes living on a baseball field, except for the wet tobacco rain.
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A man steals a book about shoplifting.
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A doughboy goes to couples therapy because he wants to be kneaded.
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A pirate has a wooden leg and a tree has a person leg.
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Godzilla burps after taking a bite out of Lawrence Welk Studios.
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Apples think they can hear the theme from Jaws because people are bobbing for them.
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Frankenstein's monster has to go to the ER for stitches and is nervous, even though he's sewn together.
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Mice are surprised the place they're looking at is a hole in the wall.
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A jar of peanut butter's husband was smooth when she married him, but now he's chunky.
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Cats think the power button on the answering machine is marked that because turning it off gives them power.
