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A new mom warns her husband that their daughter might have a present for him in her diaper.
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Carpenter ants leave cigarette butts in the sink and coffee stains on the counter.
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A fish sneezes fishermen's hooks out of the water.
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A man invents the anvil.
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Pinocchio lies on purpose so his nose gets long enough that he can crush a spider.
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Dogs drink eau de toilette because they think it's the same thing as toilet water.
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A man feels self-conscious because a hospital's supply of eyes falls on him.
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A pig buys Depends so he won't wee wee wee all the way home.
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A man accidentally knocks 99 bottles of beer off a wall.
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Van Gogh's barber cuts off his other ear so he's symmetrical.
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A sponge complains that she's retaining water.
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A cat brings a dead bird to its owner, but it's Big Bird.
