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Person shortens new year's resolutions to simply be more like George Harrison.
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Computer informs that music subscription download time may be a while due to legal battles.
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The elves show Santa an advanced surveillance operation to keep track of who's naughty.
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Two coworkers gain weight over the Thanksgiving holiday.
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Boy's marine biology homework eats his dog.
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Bug about to be sprayed holds sign to save ozone.
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Even manure factory workers must wash hands before returning to work.
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Earth does a comb over to cover ozone hole in atmosphere.
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Woman is now able to focus anger on boyfriend instead of self and feels relief.
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Giants compare innie and Audie belly buttons
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Scientists make a pit bull tree that can defend itself in the rain forest.
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Magician's Assistant has two small coffins as was sawed in half.
