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Dorothy tells Dereck they haven't been dating, she's been researching a scientific study on undesirable men, she's done now, another researcher will follow up sometime.
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Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
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Sleeping glands include sandman gland that secretes gunk in eyes, peeyou gland that exudes foul-smelling paste in mouth, aaarrgh gland that makes fingers hit snooze.
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Man in a cappella band remembers how he always forgot instruments when he was in bands, wonders what he could forget now, realizes it's his mouth.
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Man lying on floor in Bakery World, "Where You Get the Attention You Deserve," with pie in his face, employee tells co-worker he deserved it.
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Lamp is robbing sofa, sofa gives him comb, crayon, and French fry, lamp tells couch he knows there's loose change under his cushions.
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Mom tells daughter ants crawled through floorboards, got into her casserole, Dad is taking care of them, while Dad gives the ants Pepto Bismol.
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A child Leaning Tower of Pisa sits on sofa, his mom yells at him to sit up straight or he'll ruin his posture.
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Alvin the chipmunk is on talk show telling host he didn't become one of the chipmunks overnight, he worked his way up starting as gofer.
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Wife doesn't understand why husband's cat allergies bother him when cats are locked in other room, fails to see cat hair covering everything.
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One fruit fly tells another to take a long walk on a short pear, instead of pier because they are tiny fruit flies.
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Woman in shower calls into work, tells boss she's enjoying her shower too much, she can't make it in before 10:30.
