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  • Babysitter tells child his parents are in a better place restaurant.
  • A man puts his scratching post out for free because his cat won't use it.
  • Godzilla scares everyone, but they stop to cheer when he stomps the IRS building.
  • The sticky part on the back of sticky notes is gotten from the movies.
  • Interleague play combines baseball and hockey leagues.
  • A cyclops aesthetician tells her client she needs to do something about her bi-brow.
  • Van Gogh painted a happy scene during his prozac period.
  • The Earth is applying Preparation V to his backside to soothe burning because of painful volcanoes that just won't go away.
  • Party's out of hand because one lamp's head has no lampshade.
  • Jury too preoccupied with mobile devices to give verdict on distracted texting driving case.
  • A pig begs in front of a roast beef store because he had none.
  • Leprechaun uses phrase from Scarface to announce he's holding a cleaver.


You searched for: random