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Cat at full food dish asks canine if it considers itself a fast eater & answers average after devouring empty pet food bowls.
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Huge pet sitting on uncomfortable owner’s lap thinks cat squeezing in small box has no sense of scale.
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Owner tells excited jumping dog to get down & pet imagines it’s a disco dancer.
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Excited boy sees shedding pet hair snowstorm & thinks it’s a school day off but dad is patting furry kitty.
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Chilly man mistook vibrating phone in pants pocket for shivering bum & missed wife’s text messages all day.
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Laptop in argument is called jerk, slowly buffers processing response for hours till it thinks of answer late night in bed.
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Distressed kitty in therapy tells psychiatrist it thought to claw scratching post instead of couch, puke on linoleum instead of rug & shed less pet hair.
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Sneaky kitty tricks owner into thinking it wouldn’t knock over vase.
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Anteater with long tongue hanging out mouth regrets plastic surgery.
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Short flower basketball player asks who challenged tall long-stem roses team.
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Duckbill platypuses party guests suspect tiny nose & mouth animal had plastic surgeries.
